Skip to content

The Future Of Cybersex (== The Present Of All Media Outlets?)

Wednesday, 20 September 2006  |  pipitas

My first thoughts were: "This is hilarious! Too hilarious to be true..."

Here is what I read: "With the slimming feature, anyone can appear more slender -- instantly." Yes, that's right: it says "appear", not "become". So this is not a TV ad for slimming pills or other chemistry. This is marketing for modern digital photographic technology -- on the very homepage of a well-known company. Go to hp.com and read more:

"They say cameras add ten pounds, but HP digital cameras can help reverse that effect. The slimming feature, available on select HP digital camera models, is a subtle effect that can instantly trim off pounds from the subjects in your photos!"

They even have example pics on show. And they say: "The effect is subtle—subjects still look like themselves. Can be adjusted for a more dramatic effect." Appreciate the feat with the newest HP Photsmart models...

Oh the joy. Cybersex is going to be so much more fun! Just wait until that technology is common enough to get stuffed into webcams. Maybe I should finally eBuy me one. Maybe the time has come when I should leave behind my cybersex virginity for good... Imagine: this technology will not stop with just slimming. It will make me look like Young Schwarzenegger, or like Ronald Reagan. And if I'd like to pick up a Lesbian hottie, it could even bring about a sex change in real time for my CyberSelf...

My last thought is: maybe I should start a new blog. One that uses the tagline "Discoveries of an adult idiot about digital deceptions in everyday life, including the media". Or maybe "Don't trust no-one any more -- no picture, new news line, no movie, no 'factual evidence', no government statement..."

"