AUG
14
2006

ok let's do a nice brain dump :D

As some might have understood from my last blog, I'm currently in a
really bad phase ( I don't know if I'm still on the down one or slowly get up the hill).

It's that now I doesn't even enjoy simple ting like cooking (yes I love cooking) but cooking
only for myself over the last 6 years kind of removed all the joy and fun out of it ...
what is the point of preparing a complicated meal (used usually to impress women ;) ) if I'm
the only one eating it ... hey I know it will be perfect :) but now it's getting worse
I even lost the enjoyment of eating my creation ... and I won't talk about computer related
stuff, I'm currently keeping the work load to enough contract so
I can keep eating (but without fun) ... I have design document for a nice tool, well I think it will be a nice tool, called KGAS (KDE Game Authoring System) yes you read it correctly, you will
be able to write text game like zork :D on the document I plan to support Inform, Hugo, TADS ... and probably others ... this tool will be using Kdevelop4 Platform ...

On a more personal note, lately I feel terribly lonely and tired of most of the contracts
I'm doing so I guess I will have to fix this part before playing with kgas :) I just want
simple stuff like being hugged by a beautiful woman who love me ... (and if I have to die just after I think I would be happy)

Comments

Mathieu,

Hey, man, remember you are capable of reinventing yourself. We fellow FOSS programmers are capable of reinventing UNIX, reinventing every single software we need, and in a more efficient and beautiful way! Why would reinventing ourselves be so hard? ;)
Take a breath and think about this present situation as a _phase_ you are able to go through. Loneliness is hard (I suffered from it way more than I'd think it was enough), but let's attack the problem with an analythic mind:
You need to date, to feel loved by the beautiful girl of your dreams. What do women look for in a man? AFAICT self reliance, good humour, ability to _listen_ and an optimistic view of life. So you know now both your problem and how to solve it (as if changing behavior when we are sad was so easy to change). Changing is not easy indeed, but knowing what to do helps a lot. Try to change. Go out to a party, to a bar you never had been before. Try to be communicative. Smile.
Changing our mental polarity changes everything. When we're feeling bad our macho-man hormone level drops down and we don't seem so desireable to our female hunters. When we try to feel right the serotonine and testosterone levels rise and we start to be more "tasty" to the beauties around. Even that gril who dropped you a long ago will feel you're different and may become interested in you again (I lived exactly this situation myself with my ex-ex-girlfriend). Be happy and love yourself, because if you behave this way people will understand there's a reason to them to love you too. And maybe you'll not find that cutie from your dreams, but you'll find a nice and interesting girl who will want to stay with you just because the good preson you are.
You're the man!

P.S.: You can say I'm wrong and things are not the way I wrote and that I should SFTU. You're probably right if you do so, but take in account I just tried to _help_. I beg you pardon for every single silly thing I wrote. ;)

Good luck!


By Cláudio da Silveira Pinheiro at Mon, 08/14/2006 - 19:00

A fun datingsite with a geeky concept is OKCupid, at least it gets you thinking about what you *really* want.

btw, if you came to the conclusion that you basicly never took time to build a loving relationship before, you might want to look up 'love-shyness'. But before digging deeper into that I'd recomment you to just focus on what taupter said.


By henk poley at Thu, 08/17/2006 - 07:43